Wardrobe Wednesday: Do these pants make my legs look uneven?

I have really strong bones.

And tendons too.

Seriously.

I have played more sports with more enthusiasm than anyone should be allowed to without breaking a single itty-bitty bone or truly spraining one single appendage.

On an interesting side note, I have a rib that sticks out at an odd angle courtesy, as far as I can tell, of Baby #2, and one of my legs is now longer than the other (also after Baby #2…he did a number on me!) so much so that my friend who’s an occupational therapist full-out laughed when she assessed my hip misalignment.

Go figure.

I can slam full-speed into walls while playing racquetball, get slide-tackled more times than I can count in soccer,  take a line-drive to the ribs as a pitcher, and be a willing participant in any number of other potentially bone-breaking/body-damaging scenarios and walk away with little more than a scratch.

But do something 100% natural like house a baby in my body for 9 months, and suddenly one pant leg is longer than the other, and my rib is poking at my skin when I lie down.

By the way, if you’re wondering what any of this has to do with Wardrobe Wednesday, the answer is pretty much zilch.

But last night, during an exercise class, I landed wrong on one foot (with my other foot in the air, I might add), and my ankle buckled completely sideways under my full body weight, sending me crashing to the ground and wondering if I’d ever use my left foot again.

(Also, wondering whether I would ever recover a) my dignity and b) the use—so to speak—of my left bum cheek).

And yet, 10 minutes later, I was up and back at it because my ankle was fine.

It leaves me marveling at this ridiculously healthy body that God gave me and more than a little grateful.

(I know so many people—including many of you—struggle with poor health, and I do not say the above to gloat or to imply that I am blessed, and you are not…I was simply made aware of how much I take my health for granted today and wanted to take a moment to acknowledge my gratitude to the Creator who gave it to me).

(I give you full permission to scrutinize the pics below to see if you can discover which leg is longer).

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Well, hello there.

This is the “picking up my kids from their Grandma’s and then taking them grocery shopping” version of an outfit I wore to a friend’s birthday party the night before. That would also be the matching make up, hair, and expression to accompany the activities I mentioned in quotes.

This pic is also the closest I got to capturing the adorable indigo blue swiss dots that are scattered fetchingly across the white peasant top that I paid a whopping $12 for at Kohl’s because I loved it so much (even if the bottom button did insist on gapping unbecomingly every time I forgot to adjust it).

Oh, and here’s the “party version.”

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So, what changed, you ask? The hair’s still frizzy. The eyes are still tired.

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Um, hello? Did you see THE shoes?

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Speaking of the shoes…wanna see something funny?

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Did you catch that?

Because neither the Marshall’s employee who checked both shoes for matching sizes nor I did.

I could definitely tell that one fit better than the other, but I just chalked it up to Baby #2’s jacking up my feet along with the rest of me and went about my business.

Whoops.

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This next look is courtesy of Old Navy’s clearance racks (or the yellow top is anyway).

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And the (slightly) tamer hair is courtesy of my new flat iron (totally normal that I smell burnt feathers every time I straighten my bangs, right?).

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Of course, it was only after I bought my $7 clearance shirt plus a pair of the cutest watermelon red skinnies for Della (I had her all dolled up to show you and then ran out of time to snap a pic before I had to run out the door to sprain my ankle at my exercise class…I’ll try to update with one soon)…that I opened my GAP bill and discovered this little treasure:

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It was like finding a $20 bill in my back pocket, except of course, this $20 bill can only be spent at certain stores—stores at which I had already spent my real, accepted-anywhere money.

So…what’s a girl to do?

I still had the tags on my stuff and could have taken it back and rebought it with my certificate.

But really.

Where’s the fun in that?

(I see another trip to Old Navy in my near future).

And finally, we’ve got the I’m-so-conflicted-about-this-look-that-I-don’t-really-even-want-to-post-it outfit (because it’s always a good idea to end with the outfit you like least, right?).

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I didn’t actually wear this get-up anywhere because a) the skirt’s too short for comfort or modesty (always nice to find that out in pictures), b) the top’s too schlumpy, and c) the flouncy ruffles + gingham are kind of screaming, “Oops, I Did It Again.” (and Britney—bless her heart—is not exactly my fashion role model).

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But what I really wanted to show you were the boots.

I tried them on in Dillard’s on the same shopping trip that scored the yellow top and the red baby skinnies, and as I was standing there trying to talk myself into a pair of $28 black suede boots (65% off) I didn’t need, a lady walked by and hissed, “Oh honey, buy them. Just buy them. Don’t even think about it. Just do it.”

So…I did.

And then I sold a bunch of clothes here in the blog to balance out my impulse buy. : )

Speaking of which, if you’re still waiting on me to contact you about whether you won or to bill you because you know you did, please be patient a little longer.

I had it all laid out in a doc on my computer, and then our power went out, I lost the doc (always. save. your. work. Abbie!), and I need to comb back through my emails to make sure I have everything straight!

So…was that post all-over-the-place enough for you?

Because random comes easily to me, and I could keep going.

But I won’t.

Until tomorrow (seriously…you’ll see what I mean).

Bye for now!

 

 

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18 thoughts on “Wardrobe Wednesday: Do these pants make my legs look uneven?

  1. Abbie, I think you could totally rock the blue gingham skirt. It might be too shirt for, say,church, but you apoeat to ve stylish enough to wear it proudly in the rest of your life.

    It just needs different stuff to tie it together.

    The denim jacket is perfect….but try a plain white tee. Maybe with a satin trim around the neck? Very simple tho because the skirt is busy. Then instead of boots, which is where I think it went all wrong, try some red kicks or slip on ballerina sneakers. In red. I got a pair two summers ago and I think this summer may be their last appearance. I’d look for the red slip on ballerina flat style sneakers though. Girly enough for gingham and ruffles while still being sporty. And the red on your feet would be unexpected and fun. At least that’s what I tell myself.

    And for a casual date night, that outfit would be PERFECT!

    The boots IMHO are crying out to me. They want a black suede skirt the same length as that ruffled one, with cotton tights and a gorgeous glammy top.

    Just so you know. Lol!

    (I am by no means a fashion plate, not possessing that glorious figure you have–i am too lazy–but I do like clothes. I can only hope I haven’t managed to offend you! )

  2. You know, as someone who has a chronic pain condition, I’d be very, very disappointed and angry with you if you DIDN’T feel blessed by your good health! I don’t envy you, by the way. Knowing that there are people healthy and strong gives me hope that I’ll come out the other side of this!

    Your shoes are wonderful, and the boots simply rock. I’m in awe at your posing skills, as well. Despite what you describe of your “flaws”, I find it impossible to see them.

    Stay well!

  3. I LOVE those wedge heels. LOVE THEM!! And the boots are pretty awesome, too! I have shoe angst and am in desperate need of an interventional shopping trip. Care to come to Birmingham?

  4. Chiro helped with my uneven legs issue – hip alignment although mine caused a lot of pain. Totally recommend it, helped alot. Love the boots, very glad you took that advice. :)

  5. Love those boots, but they are screaming for a pair of black leggings, a bright long sweater, and a wide black belt. You are right about the Britney thing. Those boots want sophistication, and you are just the girl to get after that.

  6. Ok, first of all, I NEED those shoes from the second outfit. Love them.

    Second, has anyone ever told you that you favor Minnie Driver? Because you totally do. And I think she is one of the most beautiful women on the planet, as well as one of my favorite actresses, so it’s a huge compliment! You are gorgeous.

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