5 Things Thursday: No Thank You Foods

A while back, my friend, Kelli, wrote a blog post in which she recommended several blogs to her readers, and I was honored to make the cut.

But the name on the list that piqued my interest most wasn’t my own but instead BooMama’s. BooMama. Really? I think I like her already.

And then Kelli started talking about how funny this BooMama character is, which is when I knew I had to check her out.

{Confession time: I’m really bad about reading DIY/Project blogs because they stress me out…I tend to prefer my blog posts light and frothy, thankyouverymuch…but that’s a whole other post of its own}.

For some reason, I didn’t click over right that second, which means that I forgot about BooMama for several weeks (because that’s what happens to every thought that enters my brain these days if I don’t act on it immediately; it’s amazing my bladder hasn’t exploded due to the number of times I’ve thought, “I really need to go potty,” and then gone off and changed a diaper instead…which seems like it would be related but doesn’t really help alleviate my problem much).

Thank goodness I stumbled upon one of her articles for Pioneer Woman, though (BooMama’s the real deal, yo) because I finally made my way to her blog, and, goodness, did I “waste” a good hour reading and laughing.

So…why the BooMama plug?  Did I write her an email, and we’re now best blogging buds, and she’s here today to guest-post or something? Sadly, no.

But she did write a post that I’m about to rip off. So I wanted to give her credit for the inspiration.

You see, BooMama wrote about some of her “No Thank You” foods—you know, the ones that float everybody else’s boat but you just can’t seem to get behind.

And the post, while good in its own right, was most notable for the comments.

They. were. hilarious.

This woman has some seriously funny readers, y’all.

And so do I.

So, I figured I would give this whole me-no-likey post a whirl in hopes that you’ll chime in (pretty please).

And so, in no particular order, I give you:

Foods I simply cannot condone, no matter how popular they are:

1.

Crawfish

crawfish

This is probably just a Southern thing, but crawfish boils are big deals around here.

Here’s the thing: if I wanted to eat a bug for dinner, then I’d just send Simon and Ezra outside to rustle up a few to throw in a big pot.

So thanks for the invite and all, but the day I go to a party dedicated solely to sucking the brains out of mud-dwelling crustaceans is the day you can get me fitted for my strait-jacket because I done gone plum-crazy, y’all.

2. 

Root Beer

bitter beer faCE

via

{I’m convinced this particular “bitter beer face” happened after a deep draught of root beer}

Okay, so this is a drink, but it’s such a strong aversion of mine that I had to include it. I actually have a hard time believing people (including my husband) when they claim to love it. Even the smell (or the mere thought of it) makes me a little woozy. Blech.

3.

Shrimp

I have issues with seafood, people. And the sight of those plump, curved, rubbery little bodies atop a salad or pasta—shot through with veins of their own excrement, no less—shudder. The phrase “heebie-jeebies” was invented so that people like me could describe how shrimp makes us feel.

4.

Sponge Cake

spongecake

It’s cake…preceded by a word usually reserved for something I scrub my kitchen sink with. I rest my case. 

5.

Licorice

I guess this is no big surprise since I don’t like root beer, but my objections to licorice stem from both the taste and the texture (because injecting it with Red #456 and calling it “cherry” in no way improves it for me). Every time I bite into a Twizzler, I picture this:

mmmm…yummy wax

…………………………………………………………………………….

So…what about you guys? What foods make you say a big, “No Thank You!” every single time?

P.S. My runners-up are: coconut, coffee, iced tea, peanut butter desserts, chicken parmigiana, hot dogs, s’mores (good, in theory, but almost impossible to get right in reality), and Jell-o.

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23 thoughts on “5 Things Thursday: No Thank You Foods

  1. I agree with everything on your list, only the root beer is expanded to anything carbonated…people can’t ever grasp the fact that I don’t like soda, which, honestly, makes me a little bit sad for humanity.

    I also hate flan which isn’t on your list but it could be described (well, by me at least) as a sort of…soggy spongecake so they’re related in my mind.

  2. I am so glad you found boomama. I’ve been reading her for years and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her :) She is awesome and I feel like we are BFFs although I’ve never met her. Have you read her friend BigMama? I love her just as much and I could never pick a fav between them. I am sad for you that you do not like shrimp, but I can agree with the rest of your choices. Unfortunately, mushrooms go on my list too . . . and I’ve tried so hard to like them since they are in all of my favorite dishes. Just can’t do it :(

  3. I’m with you on crawfish, root beer, and licorice (and fennel, which has that licorice flavor to me). I also agree with Amanda – can’t stand flan, either. I’ll add beets – flavor, hominy – texture, pecan pie – reminds me of a cockroach pie, candied yams – love sweet potatoes any other way except covered in syrup and marshmallows. That’s more than 5 things…c’est la vie!

  4. Mine are more basic…While I agree with Shrimp…mine is ANY seafood. If it lives in water, I don’t eat it. It’s a smell issue for me. BLECH!!!

    #2 – Ketchup…Oh, Lord help me. The smell alone nauseates me! Random though…I LOVE BBQ sauce, pasta sauce, etc…. There is just something evil in ketchup.

    #3 & #4 – Bananas & Peaches…again…the smell. Gross….just gross.

    Basically all of my vices revolve around smell.

  5. Harsh! Some of your top 5 and runner-up “no thank you” foods are among my favorites. However, I have plenty of my own “no-thank-you” foods that I avoid at all costs. FIRST: They include coconut (so we’re similar here – hooray!). I LOVE the smell of coconut. I hate the taste and the texture. That said, I do eat a LOT of Thai food which usually has coconut milk in it. I won’t drink it straight, but I will eat food with that in it. I will not, under any circumstances, however, eat any dessert or salad or fruit with shredded coconut atop it. none. not one bite. YUCK. it might as well be shredded paper! (SECOND) NEXT up: eggplant. seriously gag-worthy. can’t do it. won’t do it. awful. THIRD: most melons and “exotic” fruits. seriously. cantaloupe, honeydew, papaya, guava, star fruit…. all of it is slimy, sweet and yuck. i do seriously love watermelon, though, and have been known (on several occasions) to eat one in a day. FOURTH: mashed potatoes. seriously. awful. those and steak fries. hate ‘em both. bleech. and FIFTHLY: coffee. i am a 37-year old female who lived in the great northwest (aka: seattle area) for 13 years (up until a year ago). i STILL will not drink a cup of coffee. or mocha. I’ll drink a mocha frappacino. or a mocha milkshake. but nothing else. i do not like coffee-flavored desserts (i know, i know, tiramisu is “so yummy” until you’re like me and it makes you want to gag and wash out your mouth with soap just so you can taste ANYTHING else besides that bitter flavor! so there you have it. we’re different and we’re the same. i think that makes us friends. :)
    (runners up: orange tic tacs, beer, red wine, grape and apple juices, split pea & corn chowder soups…
    there are more. many more, actually, but those are my top choices for now.

  6. I enjoy everything on your list, haha! One food I will always say “no thank you” to are oysters. I don’t understand how people don’t see it as one big booger or something that they just puked out of their system! Onions are another one. Sometimes I can handle if it’s diced up into super small pieces or in onion rings, but other than those options, no thank you!

  7. First off Abbie, I have been following for a while but rarely comment (terrible, I know). I love your blog though. And I love BooMama’s blog. So to see you loving her like that makes me smile.

    Thanks for all the great content – I love reading along with your blog! It’s one of my favorites…right up there with BooMama

  8. I love root beer! But not licorice, figure that one out haha.
    A food I don’t like that everyone raves about? Bread pudding! I don’t get it! It’s soggy bread! Yuck.
    Another one I don’t understand is the obsession with red velvet cake/brownies/cookies, whatever. I mean, as far as cake goes it’s alright but it’s not amazing! It’s just cake that is brightly colored! I don’t love eating the 2 bottles worth of food coloring in it either.

  9. Yes twizzlers are nasty, they dont taste like food but you are right like I am eating wax fruit or the wax I used to put on my braces growing up haha!

  10. 1. Fat on meat: I cut everything off. I don’t even eat a chicken drumstick without dissectioning it. Can’t stand the texture. (I do eat bacon, but it has to be very!!! crisp.)

    2. Oysters: never tried, never will.
    3. Bread pudding: totally agree with Amy on the soggy bread (and I hate that two – except for french toast)
    4. Mushrooms: The texture is just awfull when they’re cooked for too long.
    5. Fennel: Maybe I’ve never had really good fennel, but this veggie just isn’t for me.

    Most of these were already named by the others and I’m sure I could think of a few more, but these are all that come to mind right now.

  11. Oh we definitely share 3 out of 5! I thought I was the only person in East TX who despised crawfish! I now feel less alone…

    So yes, among my top five are: Crawfish, Root Beer, and Licorice. But since Root Beer is a drink, I’ll add three more: Brussel Sprouts (I tried to make them taste good, really I did) Clam Chowder (ewwwwwww) and any dish that includes little baby Octopus or Fish with eyes…(oh they’re out there, and I just can’t do it)!

  12. I agree with the craw fish and root bear. I half-way agree with the shrimp and licorice. I’ll eat shrimp if it’s grilled or deep-fried. The same goes with virtually anything seafood. And I like Twizzlers.

    I *don’t* like black pudding, any soup that tastes like pumpkin or a pumpkin’s cousin (it’s NOT meant to be put in a soup, people!), and who likes fruit cake?… nobody that I’ve ever heard of.

    Some foods that I *do* like that most people don’t would be frog’s legs, Brussel Sprouts (I even asked for them for my birthday years ago), and I have an addiction to boiled peanuts.

  13. Ha! Love your list, though I only agree with a few.
    Here’s mine-
    1- Bread/rice/tapioca pudding. soggy mushy and weirdly textured.
    2- Sushi. I can’t get on board with raw sea food and cold rice.
    3- Olives.

    4- Oysters. I like most seafood when prepared properly, but oysters make me gag.

    5- deviled and hard boiled eggs. again, I think its a texture thing.

  14. It’s funny, because I don’t think of myself as a picky eater at all-but I was easily able to come up with 5 things I really cannot stand. 1) any kind of melon (and add papaya, guava and mango), 2) raw veggies other than carrots, cucumbers and celery (raw mushrooms or broccoli? shudder) 3) roast beef/prime rib (they just seem so flesh-y) 4)iced tea (love hot tea, don’t mind iced coffee but hate any kind of iced tea-even the special, homebrewed ones my husband whips up) and 5) desserts like flan, creme caramel, bread pudding-they just seem beige and strangely textured

  15. I can’t stand apple pie. Kinda un-American, right?! I rarely share this fact with folks because I’m afraid they’ll try to throw me in prison for treason.

    I don’t like foods that currently, or at some point, had a shell on them: lobster, crab, shrimp, clams, etc. (blech!) However, I always say that I love seafood. Really, what I mean when I say “I love seafood” is that I love fish. When I say “I love fish,” I mean that I love salmon, but, only when I cook it. I won’t order salmon at a restaurant. So, apparently I don’t love seafood at all!

  16. So funny! Yes on crawfish and shrimp – too bug-like {shudder}. I have a good excuse though, since I’m allergic to shellfish, gets me out of having to say anything else but I still prepare it for my family because everyone else loves shrimp. Ugh.

    I’m sad for you on coconut, iced tea, hot dogs and jello. :( Toss in some chocolate cake for the coconut to rest upon, and that pretty much sums up the ingredients for an awesome summer picnic in my mind!

    I can’t stand okra, eggplant and zucchini for the often-mentioned texture issues – soggy, slimy, gross. Same texture issues with bread pudding and rice pudding. I’m gagging a little as I type.

    I have had a strong aversion to onions since I grew up in the Walla Walla valley smelling onions day and night every summer during harvest. I can do onions cooked IN something if they are small enough to not be chomped into – there is nothing nastier than biting into an onion chunk (raw or cooked), in my opinion. Ruins an entire meal.

  17. Oh boy.

    1- anything from the sea/water. that’s just nasty.

    2- red meat.

    3- mayonnaise or any derivative of it.
    4- cheese that smells.
    5- canned “cream of xyz” soups. they look like snot to me.

  18. Oh. My. Gosh. Yes. Crawfish is gross. And we spent five years in Louisiana. Eating that stuff is practically a sport and everyone thought I was crazy. Seriously. I spent my early childhood catching those things (mudbugs for pity’s sake) in ditches. In the mud. Enough said. :)
    As for other icks – any kind of beans, bread pudding, peppers and peanut butter desserts. I really prefer my sweet and salty separate.

  19. As a true blue Cajun it pains me to admit that I hate crawfish too!! If I must go to a crawfish boil I bring along a sack of fast food. The smell of crab boil makes me want to gag! I eat shrimp maybe once a year and only if it’s been fried. Jambalaya looks dirty and gumbo is slimy. They might just kick me out of Louisiana now! I do love beignets, so that’s my saving grace. Other foods that make my skin crawl are pork chops, corn (I hate how it pops when you bite it), green beans, and pickles. The sight and smell of pickles can send me into a gagging frenzy!! My boys know beyond a shadow of a doubt how much I love them because I will put pickles on their plates. I’m gagging the entire time, but I still do it!!

  20. Thanks for the shout out! The one day I didn’t go to your blog I see all this traffic coming from it and I was like “what?” lol Anyway, I have to agree with crawfish, sponge cake and licorice. I do love some root beer! Shrimp have to be cooked really well, mostly covered in coconut. :)
    One big aversion is cucumber. And if it’s in a salad, it ruins the whole thing for me!

  21. OK… have you ever accidentally kissed a toddlers cheek without ever seeing the glistening clear boogie coming outta their nose? Have you ever eaten an oyster?

  22. I have been following Rachel for about 7 months or so now. How I saw her blog I don’t remember but I absolutely love her posts. I’m not particularly sure why I read her blog considering I don’t have any children and about the only thing we have in common is our extreme dislike for “Mom” jeans and that we are both from the south. But I loved your guest post today! I’m so excited I started following you today as we have a bunch of the same interests and I’m from Texas! I read several of your posts today and I really enjoyed them, but girl, no way you’re from the south after this post. The only foods I can think of that I gag at the thought of eating are meat loaf (NO MEATLOAF WHATSOEVER, NOT EVEN MY MOM’S), and Macaroni and Cheese out of a box. I have to be the least picky eater ever, and I will try just about anything, including the tiny fried octopus at Chinese food restaurants. It’s not that I don’t have a refined palate, but I just am a foodie. Twizzlers have to top my list as one of my all-time favorite movie snacks! I am so glad you popped in on Rachel’s blog and I found your hilarious blog! I look forward to many more posts and crazy stories.

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