If I had to name one question I get/have gotten asked the most over the last 5 years of blogging, it would have to be: “So, why, exactly, do y’all have so many kids?”
The “funny” answer, of course, is because we just like each other that much.
Although…as my sweet, usually demure mother pointed out that one time: “Oh brother. In your case, you’d only have to have had sex–what–6 times to get this many kids, so what’s the big deal?”
Whoa there, Mom.
Maybe I should take her on grocery runs and let her shut down all of the people who seem so worried about my bedroom TV situation.
Of course, I know that the question is not a literal one (at least I hope it never is) but an ideological one.
Why–when, in this day and age, we could feasibly control or limit the number–would we continue to have more children?
The short answer is that we believe that children, whether there be 1 or 20, are a blessing from the Lord and that we are not the ones “driving this flying umbrella” (as an animated bear named Little John once so eloquently phrased it…please tell me that there are some fellow cartoon Robin Hood lovers out there).
But you know I’m not very good at short answers, so let me just quote an exact question from a sweet reader recently and then do my best to flesh out the answers that she (and the rest of y’all) seem to want.
Here is it:
I have a question that I’ve been wanting to ask for a while now but I’ve never gotten around to it. I’ve been wondering what exactly your beliefs are about children and how you plan (or rather don’t plan) for them. What I mean is, from what you’ve said on your blog, I understand that you give over that control to God and let Him plan your family size. I think that’s wonderful and what a leap of faith! I’m curious where in the Bible you rely on for that truth. I’ve known many large families over the years (I’m the oldest of 11 myself) but often they’re Amish, Mennonite or some very conservative group (think the Duggars, which you must get compared to ALL THE TIME!).
So, one time, I stumbled upon this blog post by a woman who had converted from Protestantism to Catholicism, and one of her chief deciding factors was the Protestant church’s inconsistency in teaching when it came to birth control and trust in God.
As she said, her Protestant pastors were quick to recommend that she hold her money, her time, her relationships, and her possessions loosely, since they were not her own, but God’s. But when it came to child-bearing, they were just as quick to recommend birth control and “waiting, spacing, and planning for an ‘ideal number.'”
She found the juxtaposition of the two ideologies jarring. And, while I don’t agree with many areas of Catholic theology, I found myself completely on board with her confusion. I felt it when, at 19, I went to standard premarital counseling with my then fiance (not Shaun), and the pastor looked at me with pity when I expressed my conviction that our number of children and methods of conceiving them should rely on the Lord rather than our own engineering. Shaun and I both felt it when various premarital counselors (“official” or otherwise) gave us their “best piece of marriage advice” (their words, not mine): “Whatever you do, don’t have kids too soon. And make sure you’re on the same page about how many you want to have.”
Thankfully, we didn’t consider Ezra “too soon” when he showed up a week shy of our first anniversary (honestly, I remember our looking at each other and saying, “Wow, the Lord planned that well,” since he was born 6 days after I gave my last Spanish final to my high school students…yes, I was a teacher in another life). And we were on the same page from the beginning about the number of children we wanted: however many the Lord has in store for us.
Another reader asked me to Biblically flesh out my reasons for believing that it isn’t our call to be “done,” citing the fact that the Bible is vague on various areas of specific life direction, including exactly when and how many children to have. I completely agree. There is no specific “thou shalt” for this topic. And, while I will reference scripture throughout this blog, I won’t pretend to know for certain how the Lord feels on this subject. I believe that being open to his leading in this area (and every other) is a matter of personal conviction and willingness and one that requires great thought and prayer.
HOWEVER.
On the flip side, I can find absolutely no Biblical basis for the bearing of children to be viewed in a separate category from all other areas of trust. And yet the prevailing modern Christian mindset is one of prevention and control rather than openhandedness.
I was talking to a friend of mine recently who became a Christian in her teens and was counseled on her upcoming wedding by numerous Christian women to go on the Pill lest she become pregnant right away. This friend has two kids–a girl and then a boy–and she and her husband aren’t having any more, but she was still bemoaning her lack of knowledge. “I just didn’t know,” she said. “It’s what everybody told me to do, and, as a new Christian, it never occurred to me to do differently or ask why.” (She was distressed both by the physical/abortifacient ramifications of chemical birth control and by the assumption of the need to control it).
I’m the opposite. It never occurred to me to segregate childbearing from all other areas of God-reliance in my life. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s my upbringing. My mom only had two kids–not because of prevention but because of her body’s inability to carry more to term. She and my dad always made it clear that they would have happily received any others that the Lord might have given them, despite the fact that we were quite poor growing up.
Maybe it’s because when I read: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths,” that I can’t seem to find a caveat to the “all.”
Not that I wouldn’t like to find a caveat sometimes. Because my “own” understanding says things like: but, if you keep having kids, you’ll never have a waistline again. Or a clean house. Or any alone time. Or a reasonable grocery bill. Or a peaceful retirement. Or anything other than a used car (okay, honestly, this one has never crossed my mind; I like used cars :)).
I know that I should keep going with: your children won’t go to the best colleges (because you can’t afford to send them all), you will be considered an oddity by your community, and your ministry opportunities will be stunted.
But I don’t actually care whether my children go to college (if they want to, and it makes sense, more power to them, but if they’d rather learn a trade, I’m all for it). My community is who I make it. And, even if my only ministry is that of training up my children to be lights in a darkened world, that would be enough (I’ve already had numerous opportunities outside of that, so I really do believe that the Lord can use me and my family in a variety of ways, no matter how large we are/get).
Jeremiah 29:11 says:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I think we’re all pretty quick to assume that this means physical prosperity. That’s the American dream. But what if it were something so much better? What if it were the ultimate prosperity and sanctification of our souls?
What if, in daily taking up the cross of motherhood (because that whole dying to yourself {that is a suuuuper convicting link to click on, just FYI} business is real when you don’t get sleep for weeks/months/years on end, and your lap/breasts/womb/possessions/time are not your own), the Lord is forging a hope and a future through my children that I would otherwise be denying myself (and them) by choosing the limit of them?
I think about the cultural norm for America. The Census Bureau numbers for 2015 show the average number of children per married couple at less than 2. That means a) that we’re not even replacing ourselves and b) that if I followed that norm, I would not have: Della, Evy, Nola, Theo or Baby #7 (possibly not even Simon). I can’t begin to fathom my life without even one of my sweet babies (or my kids’ lives without their siblings), and I am in awe of the fact that the Lord might have more already planned for me, prepared since before the foundations of the world, known in the deeps before they ever enter my womb, just waiting to offer me an even more amazing form of “prosperity” than I can even begin to comprehend at this point.
But…isn’t that kind of uncertainty about your future number of kids scary? Yup. But so is giving sacrificially when your husband works for himself from home (or in any other kind of position, for that matter) and your source of income could run dry at any time and being open to fostering-to-adopt or moving to another country for mission work.
And yet, I can find nothing unbiblical about any of those things. They are, in fact, mandated in the Bible when he tells us to give with abandon, care for the fatherless, and share the gospel to the ends of the earth.
And then, of course, there’s this verse:
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children[a] of one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.[b]
I don’t think that this means that those who have less than a “full quiver” (whatever that means, exactly) will be “put to shame” (my mother certainly wasn’t), but it certainly seems to view having children–even an abundance of them–as a positive thing.
I can’t write this post without reiterating one of the most crucial things that having lots of children has done for me. It’s not even a “side effect” that I could have really anticipated as a young woman with a conviction but no great yearning for a passel full of children.
Because, truth be told, I never had idealistic dreams of many small hands tugging at my skirts, and I am almost never immediately enthralled with the idea of another baby once those positive signals show up on the test. (It takes a few days). Mostly, it’s the pregnancies themselves that I don’t love, but this much I can tell you: not one single one of my other “objections” has ever been anything other than fearful or selfish.
And that is the great side effect of bearing children of any number, as I’m sure every mother reading this knows. It makes you less selfish. Or at least it should.
As I said, this is true no matter the number, but I can’t deny that my own navel-gazing has lessened as each new child has joined our family. As our family grows, my own self-importance (not to be confused with worth) has diminished. And, y’all. It is so good.
Because I was never mine to begin with. I’ve been bought with the blood of the lamb, and every last precious child that he entrusts to my arms (and sometimes initially fearful heart) is simply a priceless loan from heaven. It’s a loan I can never repay and one which–like the manager who had much and, when he did well, was given even more as a reward–I desire with all my heart to steward well.
Congratulations on baby number seven, Abbie! I’m happy for you and your family.
This is such a big topic, and a sensitive one too. Couples have different struggles, resources, and limitations that go into the decisions they make. I have felt judgement from people about our choices, ironically from both sides of the spectrum. Some people roll their eyes because we have four (which is a largeish family these days), and some click their teeth that we aren’t trusting God for more.
After having four precious kids, we are done. We used fertility awareness to space our kids, since we aren’t comfortable with hormonal birth control methods, and my husband had a vas after the fourth was born. I love being pregnant, love giving birth, love naming new children- it’s all very exciting and special. I was sad to stop having new babies, but I have a very hard time with birth and postpartum. After the birth of #4, we both felt that we needed to focus on the children we already had.
Two babies were traumatic emergency c-sections, we had a NICU stay for one very sick baby, a post birth uterine infection for me, a miscarriage with resulting grief for the whole family, feeding and weight gain problems with all four, postpartum depression after all four births, all four babies sleepless and fussy at night until close to a year old, and no nearby family to help lighten the load. My husband lost both parents to cancer early in our marriage, and mine live two states away. We are on our own out here. We have wonderful friends, but that is a different type of support than what grandparents can provide.
It takes me a full two years after the birth of a child to recover and find my emotional footing. Hubby and I both started realizing that if we continue having a baby every 2-3 years, then the entire childhood of my older kids would be spent with me depressed and not myself. They would grow up with a mom who can not truly be there for them. Maybe this is an issue of lack of trust, but we see it as an issue of accepting our natural limits and then trusting God with the children we do have. There is already plenty of trust in raising four children to go out into an often scary world.
I’m sorry that people judge your family size. You have a beautiful family! The judgement only comes out of those people because your choices are pricking something painful inside of them that they are avoiding looking into.
I enjoy your blog!
Thank you for your comment, Rachel! Honestly, I don’t feel “judged” almost ever. Even if that is what is happening. But I felt compelled to spell out the reasons we make the choices we do because people seem genuinely curious, and it’s easier to just get it all out there in one blog post than to answer it separately. I wish you all the best with your four blessings! 🙂
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for this post. I decided I wanted God to decide the number of my children years ago but having high risk pregnancies have discouraged me. This is something I need to pray on more.
I was never thrilled with the thought of being a mom, but I have 3 that I love to pieces! But I hated the many many years that followed of such deep depression that I sometimes marvel that I am still here.
Genevieve loved seeing the kids in the pictures. 🙂
Ha! Cute!
I loved this post. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Beautifully written! No matter the number of children … 1 or ?, your quiver is made full!
I love your take on this. I love the life you are living. It is so amazing to read your words and to feel Gods love as I read. I am pregnant with my first child. My husband and I are very excited. We know this is the greatest blessing we will ever receive but I am struggling to enjoy it like I want to. With our insurance, I have yet to find an OB. I have been trying to find one who accepts my insurance for almost two months. I am hurting because I just want to know what Is going on with my baby. But reading your post has helped me realize that I need to put more trust in God and have faith that he will come through as he always has. So thank you for your words and for putting the Lords word in front of me. I am so happy for you and your family.
Hang in there, Arlene! I sure hope you find an OB soon and can find out the details on your sweet little one! And you’re right. The Lord is always trustworthy.
As a mom of 10 children (from age 25 – 8) I’m right there with you. Additional support from the Bible would be where God says He opened the womb or shut up the womb. I always think of that old song by Truth called, Living Life Upside Down when I consider how the majority of society wants to control child-bearing. Everything you said is spot on, but you don’t need me to tell you that. I am fortunate to live in a city where a great deal of people admire large families because they usually came from large families themselves (albeit when they lived in another country). They comment favorably to me and wonder how it can be done in the US. Opposition from others, even loved-ones or well-meaning friends is a tool the enemy loves to wield at us to convince us giving God control isn’t a good idea. When it is ever a good idea to rely on ourselves over our Creator who knows us best? Never. Your children are sure to enjoy a lifetime of memories and love long after you and Shaun are gone. It’s a heritage of faithfulness.
This seriously made me think Abbie. I was not raised in a Christian home and was never surrounded by large families growing up. As I became a Christian and was around more large church families I kind of fell in love with watching them, it looks so wonderful to have a home filled with children. My husband and I have two under two at the moment and I am set on being “done” but this post seriously made me think about why I feel I should be done, money, what other people think, my body, not being able to mama them all and be sane…and then your post made me realize how selfish that is, and how little im trusting God in it. You have definitely made me think, and I feel my husband and I have some discussing and praying to do!
As you pray and discuss this topic with your husband, I also would encourage you to read two posts from Jess Connell’s blog. One is called “Why Have More Kids?” and the other is her answer to a reader’s question regarding birth control usage. I found both to be very balanced and biblical. How blessed we are to have such wise women sharing their heart and biblical understanding of these issues!
Honestly, Taby, I’m just really pleased with your willing and open heart to even consider something different than you were already. I will be praying that the Lord gives both you and your husband clarity and direction on this issue. I definitely recommend checking out other resources too, like MAH mentioned.
Thank you so much for writing this post. I am currently pregnant with number six. I have always been so confused on why christian people do not want more blessings from God. The most hurtful comments I get are from Christians. I just don’t get it. I isolate myself from church people because they are the ones who just make fun of our family rather than be glad for us. My question to you is how do you handle the rude comments?. Particularly the church members comments. I feel like we are such a freak show at church or anywhere we go. How do you handle the comments in front of your children?. It’s so discouraging and a lot of times I feel ashamed but then I have to remind myself we are blessed. Thank you for bringing this up in the Christian/Protestant circle. I am always encouraged by the CAtholics and Mormon bloggers who believe in large families but you rarely meet a Protestant with the Same view. In fact I never have met anyone with our views. I am a little jealous of the CAtholics who have such great support systems and encourage each other. Again, thank you for your honesty.
Honesly, KC, the comments I get are rarely TRULY rude. Inappropriate? Sure. But people just see something different and say the first thing that comes out of their mouths. And I live in the South where lots of “bless your hearting” and such goes one regardless of your “condition” (large family included), so it all pretty much rolls off.
I have just found that the best response is almost always to smile and give God the glory. You can’t really go wrong there, and you sure can’t control others’ responses, so why try? 🙂
But never feel ashamed! You are doing God’s work in caring for your little ones and letting him lead the way. That is definitely something to boast in the Lord about! 🙂
I’m catholic and don’t have a lot of support. Sadly most catholics use birth control now.
Annie, thank you for that:) I commented a week or so ago, asking you if you are ever tempted to be done. I was super nauseous that day and had quite a headache, as I am almost done 28th the 1st trimester with this baby (#7 ). I don’t think it is right to be the judge of the number of children either, but I let my selfishness get the best of me that day. I love my babies, and know the truth. It was just so refreshing to hear you articulate all that you did, in a world where the scrutiny and negative comments can be so discouraging. You inspire me ❤
I am so sorry… I didn’t realize the auto-correct changes Abbie to Annie. Sorry!
NO worries, Heather!
“Be fruitful and multiply” was that not one of God’s very first commandments? Before man even fell in the garden God ordained that man have a part in creation. This is a gift He did not even grant to the angels!
What can you bring to heaven? Your clothes? Your money? Your popularity? All of these stuff is left at the gates so to speak. The thing you can bring is your children!!! There is no giving and taking of marriage in heaven. The people that one day will populate heaven will be born here on earth of their generous and faithful parents. Every child that is contracepted, whether naturally or artificially, is one less child to glorify God in heaven.
God Bless the little ones and the parents who honor God with them!
Okay….we seriously need to meet! If you are ever down in Livingston look me up! lol! You literally said what Id like to say but know it wouldn’t come out nearly as eloquent as you said it!!! Keep on sister your words are inspiring and an encouragement to me.
Thanks, Autumn! And if by Livingston, you mean the place near Houston, we have relatives with a lakehouse there we sometimes visit. 😉
Yeah… About this post. The more I study on it, the more I have to conclude that it’s up to God, and who are we to interfere… Genesis says to “fill the earth and subdue it.” Psalms teaches about the sanctity of the unborn life and the blessings that children are. The New Testament teaches husband and wife not to hold back their bodies from each other. It doesn’t say, “Unless you are not on birth control” or “unless you have had as many children as you want.” Natural law logically progresses through the idea that sex produces children, and since biblical teaching compels us to have sex (when married–yay!), it is logical to conclude that children are the product of marriage and that is that. LOL As unpopular as that belief is, I believe it to be true… I’m just glad that we’re farmers to feed all these guys! 😉
So, uh… should we start arranging some marriages? I have some very handsome boys that will be hard workers in about 15 years… But be forewarned: they’ll probably need gals that are willing to be farm girls. 😉
I completely agree with your statement. It is actually so refreshing! It was a command from God to “be fruitful & multiply.. fill the earth and subdue it..” A good friend of mine said she didn’t want to stand before God on Judgement Day and He asks her, “why didn’t you have the children I wanted you to have?” Puts the fear of God in you. My husband says that our daughters will have an arranged marriage, haha! Maybe we could work something out!
Arranged marriages all the way, Jerica! I’ll ask the girls how they feel about farm life. 😉
Thank you for this very thoughtful post. I applaud you and Shaun for trusting the Lord in ALL things. Your family is a light shining brightly in a darkening world, and I so enjoy following along (in a totally non-creepy internet stranger kind of way) as you share your life and your testimony.
Thanks for you kinds words, Susan!
Hi Abbie, thanks for your thoughtful post. I am in the same boat in that I am hard-pressed to find Biblical proof for controlling the # of children God could give you.
It is an “open-handed” issue in my church and while I feel confident in their beliefs / values I almost wish this wasn’t such a gray area (they are against hormonal / abortifacients types of birth control). I guess I want a direct yes or no which the Bible does not appear to provide either.
However, as you mentioned the overwhelming theme sure seems to be children are a blessing over and over again so it’s hard not to lean that way.
I’m pregnant with #5 and have 4 under 7 currently. We homeschool and I do not work outside the home. As you know, I am overwhelmed and feel inadequate at this job very often.
My husband definitely feels we are “done” once this latest little one shows up. I struggle with this not because I feel like I want or could manage 12+ kids, but if it’s right before God.
The sentence I most identified with your post was about feeling fear / selfish when you found out about another pregnancy. I have never thought about being “done” for what I would describe as a good reason and it’s always the most selfish / fearful things that come my mind and how I wouldn’t have to deal with those anymore if we closed up shop.
My husband’s reasons seem more in regards to properly caring for the children we already have. He feels that just as we’re called to be good stewards, that relates to caring for our children as well. He’ll mention how difficult it is to feel like we give each one enough attention and care outside of basic physical needs some days. He feels we could not properly steward any more children without neglecting someone / something.
This is hard for me to argue since there are days when I wonder if I’ve given each kid a proper hug or asked them about their day or if I just barked orders at them and was lucky everyone made it out alive by bedtime.
I don’t know if I struggle because maybe if my husband saw I was “mom enough” and never lost my temper or never complained about pregnancy pain or never felt too tired to connect with him either conversationally or otherwise, he wouldn’t feel that way. Like, as if his reasoning is an indictment on me and he just wants things to be easier for me.
So there lies my ongoing struggle- Is it my true conviction, a selfish need to prove myself or something I’ll ultimately have to submit to my husband decision on regardless?
Looking forward to Part 2 🙂
Hey Sarah! Okay, so first of all, I have to say that with being pregnant with #5 and having 4 under 7, you are definitely in the “trenches” mode. I would give yourself so much grace right now (while still doing the next hard thing the Lord is clearly leading you to do; i.e. waking up and facing all of those kids all day long :)). Having a 10 1/2 and almost 9-year-old is AH-mazing. It took a lot of training to get them to the point they are now, but they are so stinkin’ sweet and genuinely helpful, and I’m serious when I say that are pretty much nothing but an absolute joy to be around every day. Their maturity and thoughtfulness put me to shame (while filling me with such joy). But that has only truly been the case for the last 18 months-2 years (for the older, with the younger following close behind), so I would say that you’re still in the stage of correction/training/doing-almost-all-of-it-yourself. And that is a hard, hard stage. Sometimes, it’s hard for husbands to understand exactly how many different hats we’re wearing, but I am confident that you are “enough” because the Lord has made you enough, Sarah. Truly.
Will you give every child exactly what he needs every single day? Maybe not. But try to think of it as a whole, rather than focusing on the particularly hard seasons you’re in and feeling discouraged at your inadequacies. So, you had a not-amazing day (or week…or, heck, month!)? Did you pray over your children? Did you do your best to the glory of God with the physical/emotional/spiritual resources you had that day? If the answer is even a weak yes (and I bet it is because you clearly love the Lor,d and you are choosing to be home with your kids), then your child benefited from your love and presence.
The Bible says that the Lord gently leads those who are with young. That’s us. He’s not waiting around to condemn/bop us on the head when we don’t do it all just right (which is…never). He understands our hearts’ desire is to raise godly children for his glory, and he will honor that. I am convinced of this.
Beyond that, I would just ask the Lord’s guidance in your future childbearing and that he would reveal what you need to know when you need to know it to both you and your husband.
I have found, over the last 10+ years of being a mama that worrying and stressing over the future has never helped me. I know that sounds so basic, and I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be wise with your time/resources. But there’s just so much assurance of God’s care for us and exhortations not to worry about the future, not to get our hearts set on any particular outcome, not to stress over details we can’t control that I can only conclude that it really means it.
I hope that this doesn’t sound like a sermon and is, instead, an encouragement to you. You are doing God’s good work.
Philippians 4:19 says: And my God will supply all your needs, according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
When we are weak and poor, He is strong and filled with every good thing.
“Motherhood makes you less selfish. Or at least it should.” Well said!
This is so good! After having our second 15 months after our first I went through a few months of panic… Am I going to end up with 17 kids? Because we use NFP. But not very effectively. Wink. It’s taken 9 months since our second was born and the return of my period to calm down my stress about when we will have more kids. I’m ashamed that I was so adamantly against having another in rapid succession for a couple months there. I just needed a break, I said. But God has always been faithful. Why did I think he wouldn’t be if another one came along so soon? I think there’s certainly something to being wise about what you and your budget and your body can handle but balanced with the fact that we are not our own. Don’t really have a strong point here but just wanted to say thank you. I’m juggling all this in my mind right now too. It’s funny, now that my hormones seem to be regulating I’m suddenly a lot less worried about the whole thing.
I do have one question though. Maybe it hasn’t been your experience, but what if anything have been your thoughts about the money side of having a lot of kids. We are open to it. But we have a small house and small budget. In my fearful moments I just can’t understand how it would work. It’s easy and true to say that God is faithful and generous but I don’t want to have a lot of kids and then not be able to provide the basics for them. Maybe that is one of the instances where the Bible is clear about this? Like where it says if you don’t take care of your family you’re worse than the heathens? I’m truly curious. I don’t have an answer here. Any thoughts?
Hey Rebecca! Hormones are a beast! Thank the Lord we don’t have to deal with them ALL the time, right?
As far as your question about money…I agree that it is “easy and true to say that God is faithful and generous,” but it is very hard to live it. I would just really encourage you to ask the Lord for peace in this area…and then surrender it to him. Not in a head-in-the-sand kind of way. You should definitely do your research on the best ways to raise a large family on a small budget. I have a friend who has 5, and they literally eat out once a year and don’t go to the movie theater, but she does SO many other cool things with her kids, and they are the most joyful bunch! They also eat really clean/healthy, and she still manages to do it on a *VERY* tight budget {her husband was out of work for almost a year, and they were still okay because they’re so frugal and such good savers}. They do things like buy half a cow, freeze it, and then use that as their meat throughout the year. Is it a lot of work? Sure. But they make it work for their family. I have to say that “basics,” even for a big bunch of kids are not THAT expensive. I buy my kids clothes primarily from Goodwill, so I can outfit them for next to nothing. We buy simple, (mostly) inexpensive food and don’t eat out a lot or go to movies or do other expensive family outings for the most part. And you know what? It makes the times we do go that much more special, and my kids are genuinely happy and don’t even know what they’re “missing.” Now, there are some expensive things that are unavoidable like medical or dental expenses, but most of those could be planned for with a special savings account or paid off over time.
Just a few thoughts because there are TONS more ways to raise a large family on a small budget. But I guess my primary thought would be from Matthew 6 when it talks about the Lord caring about the sparrows and the flowers of the field and then caring so much more for us.
Hope this helps!
This is awesome. I’m the second oldest of 11 (Mum just had another one a few weeks ago and little Michael is SUCH A JOY and delight! He’s so cute! 🙂 ) and have been raised to believe that children are blessings! 🙂 It’s so refreshing to see other Christian families out there who believe the same thing. May the Lord bless you, Abbie. You are an encouragement to so many people.
PS. Have you heard of Above Rubies (christian ministry)?
Wow, this was so inspiring to read and has come at a time I really needed to hear it. Thanks for sharing this with us all. Congratulations on baby #7! Prayers for a healthy pregnancy and delivery all the way from Northern Ireland.
Very well said! I am currently pregnant with #5 & 6 after years of miscarriages and dealing with infertility. There are a lot of people who have opinions on the number of kids we should have. In fact my moms side of the family is so opinionated and against big families ( even though my grandparents had 6 kids) that they have not congratulated us and won’t even talk to us about the pregnancy. I have 3 cousins on that side that are truly happy for me and have told me some of the hurtful things being said. Our family has even been excluded from things because we currently have 4 kids. Our kids are all well behaved and respectful. When we are allowed to attend family events they all say how good our kids are. It hurts. And I am struggling with how my family, who say they are Christians, can be that mean and think they can control how many kids we have. We don’t ask them to help us support or raise them, we do that all on our own. I have always loved kids and wanted a big family. Never would I imagine that having a big family would cause so much heartache from extended family. But you know what? We love ALL of our kids and would not change it for anything. If it means being left out then that’s how it will have to be because in the end the amount of kids we choose to have is between my husband, God and me.