Wardrobe Wednesday: The Jeans Sale of the Century + a Flash Sale for You!

There is little more satisfying (in the small scheme of life, anyway) than trying on a pair of jeans you’re not even sure will button only to discover that—surprise!—they fit, with (a teensy bit of) room to spare!

Halleluyer!

In fact, the only thing more satisfying than that sensation is experiencing it after you walk into your local Clothes Mentor for your very first visit and are told, “All the clothes on those racks are only $3 each, and I think there might be some designer jeans in there.” And then you discover that “some designer jeans” means a good 30 pairs in your size range alone.

Here I am wearing a crazy-comfy, new-to-me pair of Hudson jeans. (Pardon The Stoic Stare of Death; it was the only straight-on, non-purse-obstructed shot of the jeans that we got).

Imagine my glee as I unearthed pair after pair of fabulous, mint-condition, name-brand jeans.

(Pretty sure my smile was considerably bigger than this one)

I had all five kids with me, so I didn’t even mess around with close scrutiny because I was only planning on going in that dressing room once, and I wasn’t coming out until I’d tried on every last possibility. The pile atop my stroller grew higher. And higher. And higher. Until I told the super-smiley salesgirl, “Um, I think I need a dressing room before I break my stroller. I have a really obnoxiously huge mountain of clothes to try on.”

To which she chirped: “No problem. We’ll just…” and then she saw my obnoxiously huge mountain of trying-on clothes, and said, “Oh”…and then ran to open the dressing room door before her floor fell through.

 

Now, if I were worth my blogging salt all, I would have a picture of that teetering tower of clothes, along with the image of Evy—completely slimed with the jar of baby spaghetti that Simon dumped all over her fed her—peering out from underneath a potential jeans avalanche, completely unaware of her own peril.

Alas, (and it really does bug me) I have no such picture. Because when I first got to the store, we were practically the only ones there, but about halfway through my jeans looting, a steady trickle of fellow bargain-hunters—several of whom appeared to be my size—began to flow through the door. And I was determined to leave no label unturned, which left little time for snapping pictures. That, and the more people are around you, the more stressful it is to have 5 small children with you while you shop. Especially when everyone wants to examine your twins, and one is sleeping in pristine purity, while the other appears to have survived a tomato factory explosion and is doing her best to wipe as much as possible of her sauce-coated hands and feet on any fabric surface she can reach. 

{My favorite part about these jeans—other than how comfortable they are—is the pockets}

After 45 minutes of trying-on + baby-feeding + diaper-changing + toddler-disciplining + “It’s my turn to play Birzzle now!”-argument-mediating, I emerged from that dressing room, desperately in need of lunch and a nap, clutching 14 fabulous pairs of designer jeans in every shape and color, with brand names like Rock and Republic, Joe’s, Juicy Couture, Citizens of Humanity, Seven for All Mankind, Hudson, Earnest Sewn, True Religion, and more.

My grand total? $45.45.

The average retail price for ONE PAIR of Joe’s or Seven’s is $150. Which means that I completely overhauled the denim portion of my closet for less than 1/3 of what I would have paid for one pair if I bought it new.

Did I mention they were all in pristine condition? And that some of them had already been tailored? (Thank you, fellow 5’7”-ish person, for helping me avoid that headache).

To say that I was ecstatic is a bit like saying my toddler likes chocolate when the truth is that she might gnaw (or, in her case, carefully nibble) your finger off if she thought it too closely resembled a Twix bar.

I didn’t even care that every last woman in that store thought I was a flaming lunatic, with my stack of jeans and my gaggle of children in various stages of cleanliness. In fact, I felt outright euphoric as the salesgirl ringing me up exclaimed, “Oh! These are Joe’s! And they’re so cute! And my size! For only $3?? How did I miss these??!!!”

Muah-ha-ha. You lack my maniacal dedication to paying mere pennies for fabulous clothing, young lady. That’s how.

(Also, I’m totally weirded out by the fact that I just referred to someone—even if only in a blog post—as “young lady”).

When I crowed about my jeans-coup on Facebook, several of you expressed confusion at what I could possibly plan to do with 14 pairs of jeans. And while my initial reaction was to say, “Um, wear them?” I was also aware that I might get home and discover that my mirrors told a different story than the Clothes Mentor’s. So, the real answer was: “Wear some, sell some.”

And this is where the “sell some” part comes in.

Sure enough, when I got home, my mirrors and my husband helped me weed out several pairs of jeans that—while fabulous—weren’t the best fit for my body type.

Then, I went through my closet and pulled out other equally fabulous jeans that either no longer fit, were intended for pregnancy wear (I like to size up rather than wear preggo pants), or simply don’t get their fair share of wear.

And I’m posting them today for sale.

This is not an auction or a charity-fundraiser. Just a good, old-fashioned, first-come/first-serve, closet-clearing.

Here’s how it works: if you see something you like, shoot me an email at shopabbiescloset{at}gmail{dot}com (be sure to list the jeans # in the email), letting me know which pair(s) you want. The first person to claim them get them!

You’ll have 48 hours to complete payment via Paypal (I’ll invoice you).

Shipping is $3 for non-designer and $4 for designer (they’re heavier). If you buy multiple pairs, I will communicate with you personally for a custom shipping price.

Here goes:

J1

BRAND: Seven for All Mankind

SIZE: 28 (fits more like a size 4)

STYLE: Flare

WASH: Medium with lots of nice fading and distressing details

MAKE-UP: 100% cotton, very crisp, nice, heavyweight feel

CONDITION: Perfect

PRICE: $10

J2

 

 

 

BRAND: Seven for All Mankind

SIZE: 27 (fits more like a size 4)

STYLE: Slouchy (looser fit the the thighs/rear, slight flair at the hem)

WASH: Medium/dark with fading and intentional distressing details

MAKE-UP: 100% cotton

LENGTH: Good length for medium-height wedges (for someone around 5’7”)

CONDITION: Excellent

PRICE: $10

J3

BRAND: Citizens of Humanity

SIZE: 30

STYLE: Kelley #085 Low-waist bootcut

WASH: Dark/medium with whiskering and intentional distressing details at the pockets

MAKE-UP: 98% cotton, 2% lycra

LENGTH: Good length for medium-height wedges (for someone around 5’7”)

CONDITION: Excellent

PRICE: $10

J4

    

BRAND: Citizens of Humanity

SIZE: 32

STYLE: Lily #126, extended tab flare (almost a trouser style)

WASH: Dark/medium, saturated. No whiskering, and no distressing, but there is variation in the color, meaning not a flat blue but instead a deep, rich blue grain.

MAKE-UP: 98% cotton, 2% elastan (whatever that is)

LENGTH: Good length for heels

CONDITION: Very good (slight fraying at the hem on one side)

PRICE: $8

J5

    

BRAND: Adriano Goldschmied

SIZE: 27

STYLE: The Cupid (long and lean leg, slight flare at the hem)

WASH: Medium/dark with fading/whiskering on the front/hips and rear.

MAKE-UP: 97% cotton, 3% lycra (but these don’t feel particularly stretchy; more like nice quality trouser-weight denim)

LENGTH: Good length for high heels (for someone around 5’7”)

CONDITION: Excellent

PRICE: $8

J6

BRAND: Rock and Republic

SIZE: 29

STYLE: Casandra (straight leg, dressier style with fun jewel-detailing on the pockets)

WASH: Dark with whiskering at the front.

MAKE-UP: 70% cotton, 30% poly

LENGTH: Good length for medium wedge (for someone around 5’7”); they appear to have been tailored.

CONDITION: Excellent

PRICE: $10

J7

 

 

BRAND: Earnest Sewn

SIZE: 28

STYLE: Keaton, straight leg, casual style, rests at the hips

WASH: Medium with whiskering at the front and slight distressing.

MAKE-UP: 98% cotton, 2% elastane

LENGTH: Good length for flats (for someone around 5’7”); they appear to have been tailored.

CONDITION: Very good

PRICE: $8