As I’ve mentioned several times already and am amply proving with my current state, my body is sloooooooow to go into labor and even slooooooooooower to get my babies out once it actually does.
Given that fact, combined with my preference for natural labor, which kind of precludes my ability to slap a Pitocin IV in my arm and get down to business, I thought I’d share 5 supposed surefire natural labor inducers which were complete no-gos for me.
For the longest time, I had no idea why you were supposed to eat Mexican if you wanted to evict your baby from his warm, cozy womb-home; I just knew it was a “thing.”
Of course, when I learned the actual scientific reasoning behind it, I mostly just thought, “Ew.” (and, pass the Pepto Bismol?).
That hasn’t stopped me from consuming spicy Thai food, spicy eggplant parmesan, and spicy chicken pizza…this week alone.
To no avail.
Long drives on bumpy roads.
We can only access civilization from our house by driving 3 miles one way on one of East Texas’s most pitted and scarred back-roads (high praise, indeed).
I made that drive no fewer than 6 times yesterday.
But did I go into labor?
No, I did not.
My bladder, however, is not on speaking terms with me at the moment.
1,245 squats and a fair number of jump-kicks later, and I’m still pregnant.
Need I say more?
Yup, I’ve actually drunk the stuff…when I was in labor with Adelaide, and my contractions just wouldn’t stick.
But they had already started back up by the time I guzzled my oily orange juice cocktail, and the oil didn’t take effect until after she was born 6 hours later.
But, boy howdy, is “effect” an understated term once it did get going.
That other method that people always mention with a wink and an elbow nudge.
Yeah. Total myth…probably perpetuated by men. ; )
So…what about you guys?
Did any of these actually work for you?
Or have I missed some obvious ones that, in your experience, are little more than wishful thinking or old wives’ tales?
P.S. A quick Pinterest search produced this:
Because having only 39 different methods for booting your child out would never have done the trick.
Guess I’d better get busy.Like what you read? Like M is for Mama on facebook (pretty please?):