Once upon a time, as I tried on jeans in a GAP Outlet dressing room, I overheard an employee discussing her collection of designer shoes. Jimmy Choo, Manolo Blahnik, Christian Dior. The names rolled off her tongue in a way that was at once casual and too practiced.
Of course, my little inquiring mind wanted to know what exactly someone in possession of $10,000 worth of shoes (if her description of the number and quality could be believed) was doing earning $9/hour at a GAP outlet. Turns out, the shoes weren’t actually hers (of course not). They were her mom’s, who was, apparently a very generous person, not to mention the same shoe size as her daughter. Which, of course, raised the question of how her mother afforded such fancy footwear. I’m guessing she worked at a real GAP.
I wondered what someone whose toes had sweated against the real crocodile skin leather of a Jimmy Choo stiletto would look like. Imagine my surprise, then, when I emerged from frowning at the fun-house mirrors (if they want you to buy their clothes, they should probably invest in reflective surfaces that don’t make all the things you want to look small, bigger and your head shaped like the top part of an exclamation point; but then, this was a GAP outlet) to discover that Miss Designer Shoes looked very much like a 35-year-old impersonating a Hot Topics salesgirl. Black Sk8er Gurl jeans with red stitching, held up by a spike-studded black belt. Gelled-to-the-max short bleach-blonde hair, and, head-scratchingly enough, sedate little wire-rimmed glasses.
As I returned my armload of reject items to the rack, she proceeded to inform her very bored-looking male coworker that it was a shame all of her (excuse me, her mother’s) precious footwear went up in flames in a house fire. Sure they did. I really don’t think Brandon Blank-face there is going to call the real GAP just so he can check your, “I used to wear tons of amazing, $500 minimum designer shoes until they were all tragically and conveniently incinerated” story with your mom.
ANYhoo, that story has almost nothing to do with today’s post, except that it was about shoes, and so is this. Also…Manolo starts with an M, which fits with our 31 days theme. Also again, it does actually fit because, even though I wouldn’t be likely to turn down a free pair of designer shoes, I’ve never been particular interested. Too expensive. Too hyped. Too out of my league.
These, on the other hand…
These are just my speed. I might even go so far as to say that these are my Manolos.
Let’s take a gander at another angle, shall we?
Aren’t they just gorgeous?
But wait. I haven’t even told you the best part yet.
I didn’t pay one single cent for them. They were an early birthday gift from my bestie, Mandy, who was practically dancing with excitement as she thrust the bag at me.
I’m not gonna lie: I did quite a bit of dancing (and squealing) myself when I opened the box.
These shoes are ME to a T (strap), y’all. Seriously. Red and Aqua (only my favorite color combo, evah). Little bows. A polka dot pattern + another pattern on the heel. SWOON.
Mandy knew she’d nailed it before I ever opened the box (even her husband, who is much more of a techie than a shoe-connoisseur, agreed that the shoes were “very Abbie” when she showed them to him), but my elation at owning such a stunning pair of heels just about doubled when she admitted what an amazing deal she’d scored.
Genuine leather Jessica Simpson shoes, originally $100. For $15. You know that did my heart good. Isn’t she such a good friend??!
Oh, and just in case you’re wondering how I plan to wear them…here you go:
Of course, the more important question is where will I wear them? I’ve actually got that all worked out as well, and I’ll give you a hint.
It has a nickname that starts with a word that is the opposite of small and ends with a fruit. Take your time with that. I’ll still be here.
Got it? Okay! Well, if you want the latest and greatest updates, be sure to follow along on Instagram.
Have a wonderful Wednesday, friends, and be sure to tune in tomorrow for another M!
P.S. I love GAP outlet. Just so we’re clear.Like what you read? Like M is for Mama on facebook (pretty please?):