About 6 weeks ago, my good friend, Emily, sent out a Facebook invite to several of her gal-pals to join her in accepting the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives.  I knew the moment I read it that I wanted to try it.         mustn't grumble                      

Now, I have an amazing husband. Ah-mazing. He’s pretty easy to compliment, actually. But he’s also human, and I’m pretty good at being…mmm…how shall I put this?—aware of others’ shortcomings.  It makes me pretty self-critical as well, but it does not make me a natural encourager.  Sometimes, I have to work at complimenting those closest to me that I know best (sad, I know).   

The challenge comes from Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s ministry, Revive Our Hearts, and goes a little something like this: for 30 days, you must speak positively to and about your husband.

You can’t say anything critical or negative, even when you’re tempted to…                                      grumble                                                                       



Beyond that, you can choose between a printable PDF file or an email alert system, both of which give you specific areas of your husband’s personality/character/job to praise each day.  It also suggests little gifts/gestures you can buy/make.

The challenge ended on May 30th and was so worth the effort that I’m going back for seconds! And I’m inviting anyone that wants to join me to do so here on the blog (I’d love it if you’d leave me a quick comment telling me you’re “in” if you decide to do it!).

So, how did I do in Round 1?

Pretty darn well, actually. Not perfect certainly, but I’m a good rule-follower, so the fact that I couldn’t say anything negative made me clamp my mouth shut several times when I would otherwise have made free with my opinions.  I know of two very specific instances in which I avoided a (completely unnecessary) fight simply because I didn’t allow myself to make the little dig that came to mind. (I will say, though, that I’m struggling with being quite as positive now that I’m “allowed” to be negative. Apparently, I need more practice).   

Here’s the best part: I never told Shaun I was doing this (surprise, baby! ; )), but his response was obvious. At first, he just smiled at me, raised his eyebrows, and said, “Oh?!” when I would, out-of-the-blue, tell him that I thought he had a fantastic work ethic and that I was so proud of him for being a good provider and a man of integrity.  But after about a week, I noticed changes in his behavior as well. 

He’s always been wonderful with our children, but I noticed he was going out of his way to help me and to do the little things that made my life easier (getting up with them, cleaning up the table after lunch every single day, getting the trash out before I asked {trash is my least favorite little chore}, never letting me carry Della’s heavy car seat).  And I knew he was responding, subconsciously or not, to my positive words. (Hopefully, he’s not reading this and thinking, “What in the world is this crazy chick talking about?!”)  

I don’t want to imply that this challenge is a magic trick to change your husband. It isn’t.  But it is a fantastic opportunity to push yourself (telling your husband how you’re glad that he’s faithful to you feels weird at first), learn more about yourself (you begin to notice the negative things you do that you just glossed over before), and draw closer to God (you’ll need His help!). 

So, here’s to Round 2!  I hope you join me on this challenge and discover just how much the Lord can use a willing heart.

P.S. Our challenge officially starts June 20, 2011 @ 12 AM. (I wouldn’t suggest that you choose that exact moment to wake your husband up and tell him how great his blueberry pancakes are. Just sayin’).

P.P.S. Don’t forget about the fun fabric wallet GIVEAWAY (scroll to the bottom of the post for instructions on how to enter)! Comments close at midnight TODAY!


  1. I just came across this today but can’t seem to find the challenge anywhere…the link at the top says the page cannot be found. Would you be able to email me or post all 30 days? Thanks!

  2. You’re so welcome, Melissa! I’m happy the Lord used my post to give you an idea that I hope will help you. And I hope that you are able to get some good accountability partners to do this with you. It’s such an eye-opening blessing of an experience!

  3. Soooo I know this has already passed, but I just wanted to let you know that I will be sharing this with my Mom’s Group from church and seeing if anyone wants to join in with me as well!! I just had my first break-down as a new mom (I have an 8 month old) and a lot of it came from resentment towards my husband. It’s not that he is doing a bad job its just that our roles have changed and I am still adjusting. This was a huge encouragement so THANK YOU!!!!

  4. I stumbled across your blog (through a maze of other blogs!) and while initially inspired by your Goodwill posts (love me some bargains) – am completely convicted over this one. It came at the exactly right time in my life and I will be prayerfully working through this challenge. I know God was speaking/yelling at me with the Day One challenge. Thank you for posting it – can’t wait to get started!

  5. Thanks for participating, ladies! I’ll figure out a way to check in with you, either via the blog or fb so we can have some accountability! So glad to have you in this with me!

  6. I’m in too! Perfect timing right after his first Father’s Day and our 5 year anniversary is in about a month!

  7. Love it! I’m in. We’re like you. Joel is pretty amazing & easy to compliment, which I usually do. But being pregnant, I’m finding it hard to not filter occasional nagging remarks out of my mouth. Something I definitely need to work on!!

  8. Love it! I’m in. We’re like you. Joel is pretty amazing & easy to compliment, which I usually do. But being pregnant, I’m finding it hard to not filter occasional nagging remarks out of my mouth. Something I definitely need to work on!!

I love hearing from you guys!