So, last week was packed with fun stuff—barn sale prep, Della’s party prep, getting thisclose to getting sick (twice) + everyday life without the hubby. Then the party itself, which I’ll be sharing bits and pieces of with you throughout this week.
In the midst of all of that, I managed to mine a few nuggets of valuable wisdom from some interesting encounters, which I couldn’t resist passing on to you guys.
So…this morning, I bring you: DON’T Try-it Tuesday.
1) DON’T answer a call on your cell phone from the number 000-000-0000.
If you do, you will be greeted by someone who sounds a great deal like The Count from Sesame Street who will claim he’s from The U.S. Department of Education and attempt to convince you to further your education…for a price, of course. When you assure him you have no need of his services and ask him to take your name off his list (the only reason you answered in the first place), he will attempt to convince you that he is not allowed to take your name off the list without first getting your email address (because, apparently, he thinks you have an IQ of 7).
2) DON’T “tailgate” someone from 1 1/2 car-lengths away, even if she is going 10 mph below the speed limit on a two-lane road.
If you do, said person will alternate between slowing down to a crawl and then taking off like a shot in an attempt to “shake you.” Then, she will turn on her blinker to turn right, but instead of turning, will swerve well into the left lane and then just sit there, trying to force you to stop. When you attempt to (legally) go around her on the left, she will twist around in her seat and gesture and honk at you as you go by.
3) DON’T show up with your baby daughter at Goodwill to pick up your $3 benches without your wedding ring looking like a makeup-less hot mess…in your van with the racing stripes decals on the side no less (I wish I were kidding…we bought it used and always intended to remove them but have never gotten around to it…makes it easy to find in the parking lot!). Also, avoid any small-talk about how you frequent Goodwill with the nice older fella who comes out to see what you’re picking up.
If you do any of these things, you will get chased down by said nice, older fella as you’re driving away, and when you roll down your window thinking that you’ve forgotten something, he will say, “I don’t mean to be forward, ma’am, but you don’t happen to be single, do you?” (Apparently, frazzled-looking young unmarried women with babies seem like they would be easy pick-ups).
4) DON’T attempt to throw big parties, sell stuff at barn-sales, overhaul furniture, and completely redo your disaster of a craft-room while your husband is out of town.
If you do, you will end up with party-guests at your daughter’s 1st birthday bash helping you wash your dirty dishes, make cupcakes, prepare the punch, and just generally finish all the last-minute details that you simply ran out of time to do (even with your husband home to help—a lot—for the last day 1/2). You will then feel like the worst party hostess ever.
On the plus side, the room got redone (I’ll be showing you soon), the furniture got revamped, some barn-sale stuff got sold, and the party turned into a success after a rocky start (oh, and I didn’t have to wash that particular round of dishes! ; )).
And there you have it, folks! If you should ever find yourselves in similar situations, at least now, thanks to my super-helpful post, you know what not to do.
P.S. A real Try-it Tuesday post showing you how to make Della’s party tutu (and revealing its surprising, top-secret creator) is coming soon.
P.P.S. The theme for this week’s
Despite the worried look on her face, I promise she had a great time! ; )
You story has turned my head upside down! This is just incredible what happened to you and i hope the eyes of this young creature were smiling at the end of your party 🙂
So were you at Hobby Lobby on Friday? I am about 99% sure I saw you there. But I was a crazy woman who drove an hour and a half to get clay to make a paw print for my sweet pooch that we said goodbye to on Friday. I had wet hair (yes, I didn’t shower until…never mind how late it was), was wearing a dress because all of my pants were dirty, and my eyes were bloodshot from crying. I tried really hard not to let you know I recognized you. I think your mom was with you, y’all were loading stuff into your cool van as I was making a mad dash out the door. 🙂
But maybe it wasn’t you…
This post cracked me up! I can’t believe all those crazy things happened to you. And getting hit on at Goodwill…well, that tops the list…haha! Glad all the details worked out with the party. I always set myself up for craziness when I plan parties, etc….that’s when I think I’m “Super mom” and can do it all….haha!
haha…loved number 3! 🙂 and number 4 🙂
LOL- in response to #3 – You still got it! 😛