My husband has a rotating screensaver of pictures of me on his computer in his office. I didn’t even know until I was talking to him one day, and suddenly there I was, doing some pose or another. When I asked him about it, he said that each time he sees a picture of me from Wardrobe Wednesday that he especially likes, he adds it to the rotation.

There are lots of reasons I do Wardrobe Wednesday. When I first started this blog, it was because I figured it would draw traffic. After all, some of my favorite posts from the bloggers I read were always the “real style from real people” types. So, it stood to reason that others might like it if I did it. My linear thinking skills are quite advanced, no?

Plus, as I’ve mentioned before, putting outfits together kind of makes me a little giddy. So getting to share that with a bunch of friends and get your feedback and participation is just plain fun. Knowing (or at least trying to anticipate) how y’all will react sometimes makes me think twice about going with something boring over something unexpected and fresh. And Thrifted or Grifted is definitely one of my favorite posts to do every single time because the best thing about this blog is getting to know you. And T+G always gets a big response. (Speaking of which, it’s about time to bring that back, huh?)

But, if I’m completely honest, I hadn’t really thought much about my husband’s opinion of my Wardrobe Wednesdays. Because I wasn’t really doing them for him.

For me, yes. For you also. But not so much for him.

Let me switch gears for a moment and point out that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. You were aware, yes?

Oh good.

(More importantly, though: your husband/boyfriend/fiance is aware, yes?)

I get that Valentine’s Day is a bit of a ridiculous “holiday”—a forced Day O’ Love, if you will. Because everybody knows that love is so easy to force.

And yet, I’m not terribly averse to V-day. After all, it’s pretty much a nationwide-sanctioned excuse to go on a date with my husband. Plus, I’m likely to get flowers out of the deal. And that’s never a bad thing.

Also—and this is maybe the best thing that St. Valentine’s did for us—it’s a reminder to love more. To stop and take a moment to let your husband/kid/aunt/grandma/best friend/neighbor/barrista know that you care.

And, I don’t know about you guys, but, sadly, I need that reminder more often than not.

So, I’m issuing a little challenge to myself. And to you too, if you’d like to join in.

This Valentine’s Day, don’t dress for you. Or for the folks in the restaurant that will, no doubt, gasp at the exquisite style of that perfect dress you picked out. Dress for him. (Well, first of all, I suppose I should say dress for HIM, since: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,” can definitely apply to what we wear).

Let’s call it:


And, no. I don’t mean pull out your favorite outfit for him to wear. Quite the opposite.

This Valentine’s Day, I’m going to express my love for my “him” by dressing how he likes—even if it’s not my thing.

My husband and I have very different styles. I like layers and accessories and saturated color. He likes pared down simplicity and neutrals. There are things we both dig, though—like striped tops and jeans.

But when I think “striped tops and jeans,” this comes to mind:

Source: via Abbie on Pinterest


Cute, right? And oh-so-accessorized, just how I like it. I honestly don’t think he’d hate this. But I guarantee you that he’d prefer this:


Or, better yet, this:

Source: via Abbie on Pinterest


{Because he does like me in red}

Now, before you get the idea that my husband is some kind of wardrobe tyrant who criticizes my choices, he’s not. At all.

In fact, if he’s not a big fan of something, he doesn’t say anything at all. But silence speaks so much louder than words sometimes, doesn’t it? And tomorrow, I want to provoke a response—a “Dang, you look amazing!” response, to be exact. And not because I look particularly great in my mind, either.

In fact, there is this one pair of jeans that I’ve had for ten (yes, 10!) years that are his favorite. They’re faded and worn and stained and certainly not the latest style. And they fit me differently than they used to after 5 babies and lots of exercise, which produces an odd combination of both fat and muscle in places they didn’t used to be.

And they’re not my favorite. They don’t make me feel stylish or hip. But they do make him happy.

So, maybe I’ll wear those.

Or this dress from last year:

red dress 

{Without the sweater when we’re at home, of course ; ))

The actual piece of clothing doesn’t matter nearly so much as the attitude with which I wear it. There’s nothing wrong with wearing things that I like, things that make me feel beautiful and confident. But if all I ever do is dress for me or for you—or never get dressed up at all because, well, that’s just easier—I am bypassing an entire love language. And what an important language it is too, seeing as how men are such visual creatures. 

As “The Love Chapter,” itself, points out, “Love is not self-seeking.” Which I am translating something like this: “Love does not insist on wearing what makes me feel best/most comfortable/most noticeable, even if he can’t stand it.’”

So, what do you think? Are you up for the challenge?

Or does your husband love you in everything, even sweatpants?

(Newsflash: he’s probably not being entirely truthful)

Even if that’s what he claims no matter how you press, trust me on this one: he’ll notice if you wriggle into that dress that reminds him of your dating days or wear the color that always makes him compare your eyes to sunflowers.

It’s worth a try, right?

Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve got a closet to raid.

Linking up with: The Pleated Poppy



  1. Wow, that’s so encouraging about dressing for your husband rather than yourself. Could you please remove spellcaster spam comments?

  2. I love this post! My husband can always tell the difference between when I dress for him and when I dress for myself. When I know he likes a particular outfit, I find myself wearing it more often because I know he likes it on me.

  3. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!! Thank you for the reminder! And that’s all I’m going to say, because I must go raid my closet, as well….

  4. tehe;) ok I love this idea but I cant stop giggling with the fact of if I dressed how my husband wanted I would not be able to leave the house….tehe;)

  5. Hmmmm… I am going to be honest here, Abby. After 15 years together I can tell you that my hubby has never taken all that much interest in my wardrobe. He loved me in jeans and school girl skirts back when we were dating and red is his favorite color. He usually tells me I look nice on Sunday mornings and he isn’t a fan of boots. Out of sheer curiosity I am going to ask him what he wants me to wear for our v-day date. And I am about 94% certain he is going to give me that deer in the headlights expression and tell me to wear whatever I like. 🙂

  6. I cant believe you have 5 babies. You def dont look it. I love that red dress! This sounds like fun… Im not certainn what my hubby likes to see me in… I will have to investigate! Thats cute that ur husband saves the pics of you he likes!!!

  7. This is brilliant. I’m not sure if you were nervous about how it would be received, but I think this is something that ladies need to be reminded of, especially in longer relationships. Tuesday we celebrated 13 years since our first date and it’s so easy to just “stop trying” at times when it comes to appearance and upkeep. I understand your heart and intent when writing this post and I’m so glad you wrote this today.

  8. After 23 years of marriage… and another 5 years of dating, I think I could say my husband has seen me in a vast array of outfits. Lets face it the 80’s, and 90’s, 2 babies and various weights inbetween. I do know one thing, he rarely if ever says.. Gee Celina you look nice today. But if I wear something red he always gives me a smile and I guess in the big scheme of things says EVERYTHING. So maybe just for him I could wear something RED.

  9. I like that idea! We’re going out for valentine’s this Sunday, so I’ll make sure to wear something he really likes. I really like your red dress!!

I love hearing from you guys!