Have you ever seen one of those posts about what your favorite bloggers carry around in their bags? These are (supposedly) real women often with real, live, snotty-nosed, poopy-bottomed children, and yet when we see what’s in their bags, it looks like some sort of curated (and recently spit-polished) collection from Kate Spade.
So, in the interest of realness, transparency, and bracing honesty, I thought I’d share with you what it’s my bag these days.
- An Erin Condren life planner so that I’m always perfectly organized and on task
- A pristine wallet that is COMPLETELY devoid of old receipts or anything else untoward or not perfectly in its place
- Sunglasses whose earpieces have NOT been stretched by little hands to the point that they slide down to the tip of my nose, librarian-style, .02 seconds after I put them on
- A handful of change so that I’m always able to buy my kids a snack on the go. (Ignore the black goo on the pennies and nickels; I’m sure it’s just a glitch on your computer screen)
- Gum, so I’m aaaaaalways ready for a round of lively close-talking
- 60 second polish, should my already spotless mani need an instant touch-up
- Lipstick/gloss in an adorable strawberry case
- Roll-on perfume, so that I’m always fresh as a daisy; definitely not just for those times when I have to go somewhere right after BODYCOMBAT and don’t want anybody to pass out if they get downwind of me
- A pen, so that I can notate any last minute changes to my agenda…don’t worry, I’ll never forget that I was supposed to meet you to pick something up…ever
- A perfectly patterned little pouch to corral it all so there’s no unsightly mess or clutter in the bottom of my bag
- My phone. Again, I’m sure that lint on the screen is actually on yours
….Are you done laughing yet? I’m not sure I am.
So, here’s the deal, folks: every single one of those things actually IS in my purse…hypothetically for the reasons I listed.
HOWEVER, the other night, Mandy (who just/FINALLY had her baby girl! Huzzah!!) and I were having dinner, and when we got ready to leave, I couldn’t immediately find my keys. I started digging through my purse, and, even though I was pretty sure the keys weren’t in there after I pulled out the first few items, we were already laughing so hard at the magical appearing act I was putting on that I just kept going.
Now, granted, this was my bag immediately after vacation when we had been out and about all day long multiple days in a row, and being “prepared” was super-important, and I hadn’t had a chance (code for: taken the time) to edit anything down at all, and…(insert 6 more excuses)…
Here you have it:
The Hit List:
- a ginormous makeup bag full of various and sundries
- a pile of (CLEAN!) napkins
- a hair band
- a plastic baggie full of essential oils
- a package of crushed crackers
- BODYCOMBAT notes
- Chickfila kids’ meal toy
- glow stick wand
- mini-file/foot scrub/lotion
NOT pictured: wipes, several small piles of crumpled up receipts, straw wrappers, etc., (clean) underwear, and probably at least 5 more things I’ve forgotten.
Basically, if you are:
- going swimming
- in need of a makeover…or a pedicure
- desperate to unleash your inner glow-stick princess
- worried you might get caught in the rain
- in need of a workout
…come see me. My BFF, Mary Poppins, and I will hook you up.
Okay. So, now that I’ve let the cat out of the bag (kind of amazing that I don’t mean that literally)…it’s your turn.
What’s REALLY in your bag??